Bags & Shoes like Jazz & Blues | By Louis Nguyen

Have you ever felt like your closet’s space is constantly depleting no matter how hard you try to organize it? (No, it really ain’t.)

Have you ever felt like you are constantly so damn broke? (Yes, you are.)

And have you ever felt like your eyes are constantly wandering on some online shopping sites or that you find yourself walking absentmindedly from store to store in the mall? (Don’t lie to me.)

If you got all three yesses, then baby, you got the Jazz & Blues syndrome.

Quoting directly from one of my favourite songs from the late Amy Winehouse.

“Never lasts me long,

handle finance wrong,

blow it all on bags & shoes,

like Jazz & Blues”

I love to shop and I am a certified shopaholic. If shopping were an Olympic category, I’d no doubt be the Michael Phelps of the world. The thrill of buying a soon-to-be favourite item is absolutely the greatest besides hooking up in a classroom in CAB during finals. It could be a pair of overpriced Christian Louboutin from the Jeffrey store in Chelsea, New York. Or it could even be 5-dollar Toms wannabe slippers from a Zeller liquidation sale in Bonnie Doon, Edmonton. All I know is that, at that moment, I am on top of the world!

According to an anonymous doctor at the University of Alberta, the Jazz & Blues Syndrome often leads to the B.A.D. or the Broke Ass Disease. Symptoms include: drowsiness (due to inability to buy coffee), weakness (due to inability to afford food), and anxiety (due to high financial stress)… Sounds a little familiar?

Facing the consequences of an outrageous shopping spree is never easy, especially when you are a student. Yet, I clearly never got the memo. Window-shopping is so irrelevant, like Lady Gaga and her pretentious album – Born This Way. If I want it, I will grab it like a fat kid snatching the last 99-cent discounted bag of Cheetos in Walmart.

Why should I care when clearly there are plenty of things I can do to get some more money? Go to the bank and get a loan. Call the credit card company and beg for an increase of my credit limit. Borrow some cold cash from my best friend. Or best of all, go home and cry wolf to my parents, hoping they will feel bad and give me come cash. I dance on an emotional pole, like a NBA baller throwing some stacks of paper on a desperate stripper. It’s YOLO, isn’t it? Life is too short not to enjoy the finer things and stay deprived of what you want (and don’t need). After all, isn’t that what this society is shaping us to be? Materialistic, irresponsible and arrogant!

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  • Shawn K.

    Hey, why are you dissing Lady Gaga? She is the goddess of music and fashion. You are a nobody!

  • Christina V

    Sorry, I couldn’t focus on this article…I was too busy drooling over those shoes and that grey wallet…and the bag!!! Eeeeek!