Pandas and Bears Top 10 Or So Rankings (October 1) | The Wanderer Sports

Last week, in our first edition of the varsity sports rankings, we had the Bears soccer team at #1 and the football team nearby at #120. Based on the weekend sports results and our finely-tuned, peer-reviewed criteria, this week’s rankings changed slightly.

1. Pandas rubgy: Opened the season with 48-0 and 58-3 wins over Victoria and UBC. Pretty strong, but we docked a few points for the three points conceded to UBC.

2. Pandas soccer: FIFTY THREE SHOTS against UNBC. Granted, only 24 were on goal… but still, 53 SHOTS. That’s more than what Amy Winehouse averaged on a night out before she died. The Pandas won 6-0, which seems like nothing considering the number of chances they had.

3. (tie) Bears soccer: Tough weekend against U Vic and UFV. Watching the games online, though, the refs’ calls were pretty questionable – especially against the penalty shot converted by U Vic. UFV played like people that absolutely suck at soccer and always hack your legs instead of going for the ball.

3. (tie) Bears hockey: 11 goals for and just 4 against in the two opening matches against Manitoba.

4. [Vacant]: No team deserves fourth spot at the moment. Check back next week.

5. Pandas hockey: Ok, so they lost their final pre-season game against Queen’s, but went 10-1 overall during the warm-up games. They were ninth last week. Maybe fourth in week three?

6. (tie): Whichever fans made it out to the Bears football game on Sunday. Commitment.

6. (tie): Pandas field hockey: They WOULD have a few wins right now, if it wasn’t for Athletic Director Putin. Field hockey team not good team for university says AD Putin.

7-9. [Vacant]

10. Edmonton weather this past weekend. Nothing beats fall.

-10: Bears football: En route to a perfect season, maintaining the streak against UBC. Half way to a degree in Bears Football Futility!

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