Pronghorns Like Grazing, Not Kayla Michaels | The Wanderer Sports

Earlier this year (a few weeks ago), the Pandas played the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns in soccer, and this happened. Simply put, the entire Alberta pronghorns population just about when extinct, and some scientists even had to consider putting pronghorns in zoos so that the species could be preserved. However, in some divine miracle of Pronghorn Christ, the Pronghorns migrated south, made a bunch of new babies and then returned to their Lethbridge habitat (ALL IN TWO WEEKS).

Coming back was the wrong decision.

[Enter Pandas, stage left.]

This past Sunday, on September 18, the Pandas rolled into Lethbridge, fresh off a disappointing tie against Calgary and their propaganda machine. On the previous day, the Pandas doubled their opponents in shots, but just couldn’t put the ball into the white meshy thing. They made up for it on Sunday, scoring six goals en route to a 6-0 win. Shame that they came just one point away from a touchdown. Kayla Michaels scored a hat-trick, and she’s the Hudson’s Player of the Week for the U of A! Pronghorns don’t like Kayla. No, Pronghorns like grass and Lethbridge hills. Pronghorns like chase other Pronghorns and re-populate. Pronghorns like grass, yes Pronghorns do. Graze, graze, graze.

Check back TOMORROW for a special edition of Pandas soccer coverage! What are we doing? Can’t tell you. That’s why you should return Wednesday morning. 



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