So Lethbridge Actually Managed to Show Up This Weekend, But There’s a Caveat | The Wanderer Sports

No matter how good a team may be, there’s always bound to be a week that just doesn’t go as planned. Look at Real Madrid; they choked in the early part of the 2012 La Liga season, losing to a bunch of no-name teams. Or the Boston Red Sox of 2012 (and 2013, 2014 and beyond), the Green Bay Packers of 2012, Edmonton Oilers post-Stanley Cup run, Boston Bruins in much of 2012, etc. The list could fill entire 1000-page Ayn Rand books, no joke. For the Golden Bears soccer team, this week was October 20-21, when the team waltzed on down to Lethbridge, city of [???]. The Bears were going up against the Pronghorns, which have long suffered from Prongnesia, the most debilitating disease for soccer players from Southern Alberta, not much different from the disease currently draining Mitt Romney of brain power.

Unfortunately for the Bears, they only grabbed one point from the weekend, dropping game one and then drawing in game two. But get this: THERE WERE 70+ KM WINDS. WHAT? 70 KM/H??? YES. 70 KM IS VERY FAST AND IMPOSSIBLE FOR PLAYING SOCCER. Not surprisingly, Lethbridge has not lost a game at home all year. They’ve won once and tied every other game. When you get to practice on such a windy field, it’s not surprising that you hold a distinct home-field advantage. Examples such as Bolivia and Ecuador come to mind. These two countries’ national soccer teams are awful and solid, respectively, but they ALWAYS win at home. Why? Elevation. If you play so high up in the mountains, and you’re used to thin air, you can play a full ninety minutes of soccer in those conditions. Other teams can’t. So what happens is that Bolivia wins at home, but when it leaves for say, Brazil… it doesn’t win.

So are we saying that Lethbridge and Bolivia are similar teams? No. Lethbridge is decent, whereas Bolivia is a national team in COMMEBOL with a bunch of players somewhere in Latin American or the MLS. Some of them maybe even play for the Columbus Crew, the worst place for soccer in the Milky Way Galaxy. (This is also the worst place for professional hockey.) All we’re saying is that Lethbridge is an ok team that manages to hold its own when it plays on home turf. Take Lethbridge out of its habitat, and the same thing happens to the Pronghorns as what transpires when a goldfish is substituted into a new fish bowl: it dies.

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