You just met someone and hit it off. Numbers were exchanged. Now what?
Now it’s time to play by the rules of texting- those unofficial rules we collectively adhere to: don’t text them back right away, don’t tell them how much you like them right away, and try to be witty and flirty without coming off as trying too hard.
Stupid, right? But most of us still do it.
It’s a facade. It’s kind of like attempting to forecast the weather in Edmonton. There’s a science to it, but that doesn’t guarantee any true results. I could tell you sly, coy things to say that will make you appear interesting via text message, but really phones invade our ability to relate to people on a personal and intimate level. No matter if you wait an hour to text them back, or come up with interesting anecdotes, texting does not create a relationship or the ability for your crush to like you. Why? Because it does not create intimacy.
Intimacy happens when you have the balls to hang out with someone face to face. The half smiles, the chuckles, and the hand holding that makes your heart beat wildly like something straight out of a Jessica Rabbit movie. These are the way to win someones interest, and are the small things that lead to a relationship in due time.
Now, my personal pet peeve about texting someone you’re interested in is having a conversation without meaning or depth. Text someone if you want to talk to them, but understand that if the conversation is going nowhere that you should just drop it. You cannot sufficiently get to know someone through text message. It’s better to just ask if they want to do something, and get to know them the ol’ fashioned way by sitting across from them.
People get addicted to the convenience of having a texting relationship. It’s better to have a great connection in person with someone, even if you don’t text everyday. What is a warning sign is if you are texting everyday, and feel more comfortable in that medium than in person.
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s try to get to know people like an 80’s sitcom. Phone calls, sharing French fries, and having meaningful conversations like we are stuck in detention with Molly Ringwald. If someone can talk to me about more than work, the hockey game, and the weather, then they are a front runner for my attention.
Text someone to let them know you’re thinking about them, but if you want to get to know them have a real conversation. Just ask them to do something; see where that goes! Texting creates easy access into someones day, but don’t let a good opportunity get stuck in cyberspace. The best text message you could ever send to someone is: “Want to do something?”
Image courtesy of Steve Slater on Flickr