We Lost to the Pandas Right Meow | The Wanderer Sports

The Pandas soccer team is one of the best university women’s soccer teams in Canada. Last year, they almost won nationals. It’s 2012, the summer is for all intents and purposes over, and the Pandas just wrapped-up their pre-season. They played two games at Mount Royal University in Calgary, winning game one, 3-0 against the Lethbridge Pronghorns. In their follow-up game against Mount Royal, the Pandas outlasted the Cougars by a score of 5-0. Here is our game recap, which we encourage you read with a grain of salt. 

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Calvin the Cougar loves the Mount Royal ‘University’ Cougars, but right meow he isn’t too happy with the soccer team’s result against the visiting University of Alberta Pandas. Calvin’s E-Harmony profile indicates that he’s a “Phat cat with a penchant for A&W teen burgers, botany and the breezy shores of Anchorage, Alaska,” but on August 26 2012, none of these feline dreams came true. Instead, he took a lonely ride on the Pandas Express out of town, making his way to Banff for a weekend-long foray at the Chateau Lake Louise. Vintage bottle of Picpoul de Pinet red wine in paws, Calvin washed away the sorrows of a 3-0 pre-season loss to the visiting Pandas.

Ryan Gosling’s a pretty charismatic actor, and he really made a name for himself in that Notebook movie. He’s also really impressive in Drive, even though he wasn’t featured in many scenes. But even Ryan Gosling couldn’t save the Cougars from their demise on home turf. Lonely Calvin had to watch helplessly on the sideline, as Kayla Michaels, Carleigh Miller and Briony Buchanan scored goals for the Pandas. Once again, Kaylee Rubin and Erin Gordon relaxed in net. This time, rather than pick dandelions, they brought some furniture over from the nearby campus and built mini forts in goal out of bits and pieces of MRU residence sofas. A lady walking her pomeranian near the field remarked that the sofa-fort in a way resembled Frank Gehry’s Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, mostly because both are a sleek white modernist design.

When the game came to an end, the Pandas’ pre-season record improved to 2-0. Pretty impressive, but it’s not even the regular season yet. On September 7 and 8, they travel down to British Columbia to play Victoria and Fraser Valley. If the games play out like 5-0 and 3-0 wins against Lethbridge and Mount Royal, then the Pandas goalies can build another fort. This one would be really nice, because the Brick might be holding a massive fire-sale on the 7th, and La-Z-Boy sofas are 60% off.

 

 

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